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    Uneasy Rider

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    Uneasy Rider

    Post by Stan Dane on Sun 20 Aug 2017, 5:20 am

    First heard this song while driving to California after joining the Navy in 1973. I laughed my ass off because, having driven through the South in my MG in 1972 on my way to visit my aunt in Texas, I experienced some of the same vibes as I stopped at certain places along the way.




    I was takin' a trip out to LA
    Toolin' along in my Cheverolet
    Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio

    Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
    I heard that highway start to whine
    And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow

    Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
    'Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight
    So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim

    I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
    It was right in front of this little bar, a
    Kind of a red-neck lookin' joint called the "Dew Drop Inn"

    Well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
    And told the bartender that I had a flat
    And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one

    Well there was one thing I was sure proud to see
    There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me and
    He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone

    I called up the station down the road a ways and
    He said he wasn't very busy today
    And he could have somebody there in just about 10 minutes or so

    He said," Now, you just stay right where yer at!"
    And I didn't bother to tell the dern fool
    That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go

    I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
    When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car
    With the peace sign, the mag wheels and the four on the floor?"

    Well he looked at me and I damn near died
    And I decided that I'd just wait outside
    So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door

    Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
    These 5 big dudes come strollin' in
    With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth

    Now I was almost to the door when the biggest one
    Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
    And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath

    Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
    In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
    Especially when there was three of them and only one of me

    They all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
    And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
    So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee

    Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair
    But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
    And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a thoroughly dangerous man!"

    "Well you may not know it but this man is a spy.
    He's a undercover agent for the FBI
    And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"

    He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee
    But everybody else was lookin' and listenin' to me
    And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went

    I said "Would you believe this man has gone as far
    As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
    And he voted for George McGovern for President."

    "Well he's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko fags!
    I betchya he's even got a commie flag
    Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."

    "He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys
    He may look dumb but that's just a disguise
    He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"

    They all started lookin' real suspicious at him and
    He jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
    You know he's lyin' I been livin' here all of my life!"

    "I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
    And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
    And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"

    Then he started saying somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
    But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
    I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck

    And when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks
    And they were just taking my car down off the jacks
    So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up

    Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
    Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
    Comin' out the door and headed toward me at a trot

    And I guess I shoulda gone ahead and run
    But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
    Of chasin' them all just once around the parking lot

    Well they're headed for their car but I hit the gas and
    Spun around and headed 'em off at the pass
    I was slingin' gavel and puttin' a ton o' dust in the air

    Well I had them all out there steppin' and fetchin'
    Like their heads was on fire and their asses was catchin'
    but I figgered I'd better go ahead and split before the cops got there

    When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
    Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
    And I didn't slow down till I was almost to Arkansas

    Well I think I'm gonna reroute my trip
    I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
    If I went to LA, via Omaha
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    Stan Dane

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    Re: Uneasy Rider

    Post by Bigjohnaz on Sun 20 Aug 2017, 10:34 am

    Good call! One of my all-time favorite songs. In the same vein, I'm sure you also love "Hot Rod Lincoln". I've only heard the Commander Cody version, but it's another killer tune.

    Bigjohnaz

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