What are we doing that's wrong?

First topic message reminder :

Greg announced a ROKC book which will remove the most stubborn stains. Some however, are so ingrained and plain fucking wierd they deserve there own thread when you come across them. Here's a starter.

Hilarious stuff,Alex.

Thanks Vinny.
I was just thinking visionary geniuses and intuitive warrior poets like Doyle and Butler shouldn't be confined t the relative obscurity of JFK forums..the outside world must learn of these intrepid voyagers into the metaphysical realm. The world must celebrate their unique visions.
I was thinking of an ebook maybe a graphic novel. Doyle and Butler- time travelling historical detectives par excellence. And perhaps LarryTrotterImage as their gender confused android sidekick..think R2D2 with an extra terminal..
During the Philadelphia Experiment the fabric of time ripped unaccountably and Doyle, Butler and the bi curious TrotterImage were hurled into this dimension..
Escaping from Roswell AAFB( where TrotterImage had struck up a passionate " friendship" with Gaal, a homesick little green man) they use their mysterious time travelling powers t solve some of history's greatest enigmas
The Mary Celeste? Interdimensional cannibal paedophiles..
The Tunguska Meteor? A particularly nasty bout of interstellar flatulence..when a passing tourist from Alpha Centauri overdid the cabbage borscht..
What say you Steely? Will you join me on this noble endeavour?
The world must be told of these unique savants that skulk within our midst..
Think of the wondrous services t humanity such mighty indomitable intellects could perform...
No wait..what the fuck was i thinking..EVERY historical incident including the War of the Spanish Succession and Louis XIV vanishing hemorrhoids were caused by
A/ a shadowy 300lb woman spotted lurking in the immediate vicinity. Or
B/ A nefarious cabal of flying multi coloured automobiles, fantastically limbed onlookers and fleets of mobile CIA photo altering trucks.
Sorry for any confusion, i suffered a momentary brain storm, a Mary Moorman headed giraffe just walked by outside...

WTF is Simon "The Saint" Templer doing here? Is he filling a test tube?

That's jusr one of Don Juan Butler's drawings illustrating his transcendent psychedelic experience on the Grassy Knoll.
It takes a lot of discipline, a lot of Kundalini yoga and whole cactuses full of peyote before you can see transparent headed superlegged Phil Willis, vanishing Mannequin Rows, Johnny Cash cars and a handful of tap dancing Jean Hills..
That particular sketch depicts the semolina flavoured floating munchkin and the flying blue trouser serpent( rarely seen outside its natural habitat; a semen drenched basement in Sanibel Island)
C'mon Steely i thought you knew about this JFK stuff; this is John Butler 101
EVERY ONE knows James Files passed his Remington t the floating semolina munchkin man who gave it t the blue flying trouser serpent who gave it t the 3 headed 14 foot Linda Willis who took it with her as he vanished down the Storm Drain t Never Never Land...
Don't you remember your John Butler/ Captain Hook Conspiracy Model?
Next you'll be telling me you've forgetten what happened in the Cabana Motor Inn..when the purple spotted half Albanian crocodile and Chauncey Holt brought in the fake Secret Service i.d t Room 101... but they forgot t knock causing Captain Hook, who busy scratching the nasty crotch rash hed caught from his threesome with Jada and JVB when he was pinning FPCC leaflets and smoking Reilly coffee beans down in New Orleans in the summer of 63 t have a rather painful accident...
You don't think those eminent theoreticians over on the Ed forum just make this shit up do you...

Your right Alex. The Bronson Gap, much like the Bemuda Triangle, affected my bearings. For many minutes I was lost and aimless. In fact, i almost left a sticky note in my calender to join the EF in July. Thanks for dragging me back.

My pleasure Steely. Any time. But in Armstrong's name i implore you don't make me recount what happened in the broom cupboard on the 2nd floor of the Dal Tex Building again....the last time I was seeing tutu wearing GHW Bushs, walkie talkie brandishing Danny Arces( and you DO NOT want t know what orifice he was brandishing it from), a bucketful of sexually voracious yellow spotted Panamanian killer termites and Bill Miller resplendent in his erotic Big foot costume playing footsie with a stark naked yak scented Billy Bob Prudhomme for fucking weeks afterwards.
And Glasgows not the sort of place thats conducive t yak and naughty Sasquatch related flashbacks...

Any mathematicians out there?
I suggest you head over t the Ed forum..two of our finest intellects Messrs Davidson and Butler are currently engaged in a quite scintillating tour de force of applied reasoning that ascends t the rarified heights of pure calculus. Its like what might happen if someone spiked the punch at the M.I.T. Christmas party with purest Owsley S.T.P
Its far beyond my meagre powers of comprehension but it seems like they're arguing about the size of Phil Willis's dick..seemingly if Mr Willis's vital measurements are less than the average size of an albino budgerigars beak( which might explain why Mrs Willis always looked so grumpy and had such an unquenchable desire t learn the exact dimensions of Marrion Bakers polished helmet) the extant Zapruder film is fake. A fascinating proposition...
Surely the solution is simple! Find out the depth of Richard Gilbrides throat.
The will call counter trouser bump dictates that the Gilbride esophagus MUST be exactly the same size as the late Phil Willis's member. The laws of equilateral fellatio cannot be defied( just ask Evelyn and her Filipino pool boy)..perhaps mr Doyle should take note and dig out Alberts slide rule..if he could prove that Sarah Stantons right tit had the same circumference as Billy Loveladys bald head it would be game over for Prayerman....Talking about slide rules let's not forget another bona fide genius who walks amongst us..step forward Dave "the Fez" Josephs and take a bow..in his haste t confirm the existence of a mythical doppelganger he got an ordinary ruler confused with a surveyors measuring implement....genius above and beyond the call of genius.
I find most of Mr Joseph's posts unreadable..like a whiskey ravaged William McGonnigal writing in Babylonian cuneiform..
Oh silvery triple underpass
When we saw fair Jackies pink ass
On the 22nd of November 1963
Did Sarah wear a wig or was it Lee..

Butler is showing promise. Soon he will be able to stoop next to Brian and unleash a salvo of RPG's and other small mammals.
Consider Graves. Long ago had his barrel deactivated. Now just a boring bastard.
LOL

A little gerbil told me Graves had his barrel deactivated by a Russian gunsmith..a certain Comrade Constantine Cumoffski...apparently he snipped a couple of extra tubes just t b on the safe side. And without the proper lubrication..OUCH!!
It got quite messy. Poor old Tovarisch Tom!! He thought he could still use his barrel..you know for sport..he was quite the chap for clay gerbil shooting..PULL!! Instead of ARMAGEDDON..a lot safer and a lot less painful.
Not t mention far more economical!! Over 10 years on the Ed forum cost him a fortune in asbestos trousers!!
But when he went with Larry TrotterImage for a spot of clay gerbil shooting..nothing..when he pulled the trigger there was just a loud trumping sound and a gooey splat of foul smelling discharge..kinda like custard enemas.
I guess this sorry tale must be taken into consideration when we read Tom's angry anti Russian rants..i mean youd b a trifle miffed too if you fancied an afternoon with Larry TrotterImage and a load of clay gerbils..only t hear an ominous gurgling and a gelatinous splurge..all down the front of your brand new I Luv Duncan t- shirt...

You're a comic genius, Alex. Keep up the good work!

Thanks Jeremy. Coming from you that means a great deal. Your website was one of my first stops after i got back into the case. A haven of reason and rationality amidst the wilderness of tin foil hattery.
As i researcher i knew i couldn't compete with the regulars here so i through I'd try t add a little colour t the proceedings...like a splurge of psychedelic vomit on Elm St

New addition t the Ed forum Menagerie of the Grotesque folks!!!
Meet the Ladies in Black.. Two anthropomorphic shape shifting lesbian vampires from the Oak Cliff district of Transylvania..a place famous for its hard core punk rock scene, friendly locals, its beer and its flying gerbils..did you know LarryTrotter is Romanian for Armageddon?
JFK wasn't shot..he was bitten( i was going t say " sucked" but i didn't want t cause a power outage in Sanibel Island..those poor folk are still getting over 2017s traumatic great Sanibel Island Satanic Panic..when the dazed 43 year old one time Miss South Korean Grace Slick lookalike was found wandering bruised and half naked along the Causeway babbling incoherently about being violated by goat headed selfie sticks expertly wielded by a pink sandalled monstrosity in a giant gerbils head who claimed he was the offspring of Paul Kantner and a demonic succubus named Mindy..who could fart the first three verses of Somebody To Love) by vampire bats the aforementioned Ladies shot out of their undead minges..
Not only that folks over on the "Swan Song Math Rules" Thread Master Davidson is performing the famous "Psychological Breakdown in numbers" monologue from A Beautiful Mind II- Honey, I Shrunk the Gerbil..co starring a lady who not only communes with the spirit of an 18th century musical genius but who actually owns the very flute he wrote about in his last opera.
A flute she claims that can actually alter the weather.. Fuck altering the Z film this is the REAL shit...i wonder if she'll be interested in buying a genuine TARDIS..It's.chameleon circuit is kinda fucked so t the uninitiated it may look like a common everyday Glasgow City Council wheelybin but i swear it takes you t every corner of the known universe.. Where t do think i got my signed Henry VIII codpiece and my tape recording of Joan of Arc dueting with a strange straggly haired jester on a polyphonic Gregorian chant version of " Fire"..?

Alex, i think the Two Ladies In Black may be Mrs Smoker and Mrs Non Smoker. Rather than watching the parade they are discussing how long it should take to bury a cat......alive v dead. The fact that they were filmed without consent gives them grounds to launch legal action due to having their personal freedom infringed.

"due to having their personal freedom infringed."
That means not being able to anonymously commit multiple cat internments.
Shakey legal ground.
Ed

That's the story of my life Steely..i think I've found a couple of hot lesbian vampires t sink my fangs into only t discover on closer inspection I've disturbed a pair of wizened old spinsters burying their poor Tiddles.
Once after a 72 hour John Butlerathon on the Ed forum i reeled out into the cold grey Glasgow dawn where t my amazement i thought i spotted two emaciated hag like apparitions floating serenely down Sauchiehall St
"Weren't you in Dealey Plaza on Nov 22nd 1963" i spluttered " John Butler discovered you dry humping a rather perplexed looking Dalek (well it's eye stalk was most certainly askew)...aren't you the Dalek humping Dracula sisters of Dallas?"
Alas they were not however nefarious undead sci fi robot shagging miscreants..they were in fact a couple of rather bemused elderly nuns on their way t their weekly coffee and flagellation morning.
They beat me mercilessly with their umbrellas causing my head t swell up grotesquely. Irony of ironies I was staggering homeward when a car pulled up behind me, a glowing multi coloured stationwagon with two rear ends. The driver who looked like Noddys depraved elder brother leant out the window and accosted me" Aren't you the melon headed man who chased the necrophiliac giraffe thru Dealey Plaza?" he snarled aggressively as he reached for the well thumbed copy of the Great Zapruder Film Hoax that lay on the seat beside him..hidden inside a less embarrassing publication "Reader's Wife's Naughty Forties Big Jugs Bumper Edition"..
And who knows maybe i am..after 72 hours reading Mr Butler's dadaist ejaculations I'm not sure of anything anymore.
UPDATE...however ridiculous i try t be the Ed forum always manages t upstage me..they're now arguing about Dougal from the Magic Roundabout!!
And wannabe headmaster Gordon has upbraided us for our adjectival excesses.." we are the Education forum" he declares pompously..like Captain Smith on the deck of the Titantic.."First mate Davidson go help Able Seaman Butler with those deckchairs"
Apart from Jim Di, Larry H, Ray M and a couple of others Gordons turned that place into a tin foil madrassa..fifty lashes if you can't identify your Harveys from your Lees..you could lock Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear and Syd Barrett in the 1st floor of the TSBD and theyd b hard pressed t match the wacky fucking shit that passes for research over there..
FURTHER UPDATE..Someone better get on t the BBC, ABC, CNN ,Fox News..i ventured over t the Imaginarium.and..well I'm still kinda stupified..Larry TrotterImage has descended from..well Armstrong only knows where he would ascend t on a Friday evening..but wherever it was he's certainly made some quite monumental discoveries..so monumental in fact I'm gonna quit ROKC and go join a Hare Krishna Origami Forum..did you all know that JohnFKennedysnr was the US President? Apparently he was assassinated at 12 30 on Friday 22ndNovember1963 in Dallas? This is quite incredible..Steely did you know about this?..I'm off for a lie down..maybe a little Jefferson Airplane will calm me down..

Larrytrotterimage first revealed the long suppressed news that a man called Johnimage (or was it Jackimage?)got shot in a street in a southern state around 3 years ago. He gave us the GPS coordinates and even how many pigeonimages Bakerimage saw fly up. That's all he's said since, c&p the original breakthrough news over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.....
How can Butler accuse Dougal!!!! Had he named Zebedee well yeah....shifty bastard that one, but Dougal!!! c'mon.

I never liked Florence..she was obviously a tool of the Illuminati..in fact the whole programme was nothing but a none too subtle exercise in brainwashing impressionable kids.
The Magic Roundabout?..fuck off..more like the Magic Consumerist Treadmill..no doubt there were satanic paedophile overtones as well..next time i see my kind Dr Kramer for my deprogramming session I'll ask him t disassemble my psyche t see if there's any hidden traumas involving giant orange dogs vaguely phallic shaped bouncing..well what exactly was Zebedee..and talking caterpillars.
I strongly suspect he'll refer me t his colleague Dr Butler..when it comes t shattered psyches and ghoulish giant talking animals he's the recognised world authority.
I'm terrified t go back t the Imaginarium..next Larry TrotterImage will be telling us that Edward VIII has abdicated and that nice Chancellor Hitler is planning Anchluss with Austria..

I couldn't agree more, Alex. The Magic Roundabout came straight from the Langley mighty Wurlitzer of disinfo and deep state mind fucking of the masses. Think of Dylan tripping thru each episode in a purple haze of Sanibel Gold....think of the effect it had on Brian (both of them) and then Zebedee leering into the camera "Time for bed". My God.

I can just picture the scene: a dimly lit office deep in the bowels of Broadcasting House..Mr and Mrs Thompson think they're here t discuss an idea for a new kids programme with the department head..
Instead they're confronted with the sinister cadaverous visage of Jim Angleton..the cigarette smoke curling up from his thin pale lips like ethereal phantoms escaping the chimneys of Crematoria 2..
Under the desk a muffled voice whimpers in terror..it's their young daughter Emma bound and gagged. Over her hovers a shambling pink sandalled phantasm..his long stringy grey hair dangling like Albert Pierrepoints pubes
"Now Albert" Jim wheezes as the skulking abomination looks up with its glassy eyes, like cherries on top of the last Molotov cocktails in Stalingrad
"You're not going t hurt young Emma are you? These nice people are gonna create a show for us..a lullaby by HP Lovecraft..no" Jim pauses and laughs his emaciated laugh" no like one of Ezra Pounds Pisan Cantos for kiddies..i knew Ezra very well" Jim takes a long drag of his cigarette" they said he was a Nazi..wrote some of his best stuff on toilet paper in a POW cage..i want talking dogs...a roundabout..no a Magic Roundabout t represent the gruelling monotony of existence..lots of satanic hippies and nightmarish troll like paedos..I've brought my best man over from Langley..Dr Gottleib usually keeps him chained up in his office..best place for him if you ask me..hey Johnnie..Mr B..put that poor Chihuahua down and come and meet your new limey friends"

..i just pray t Armstrong they don't ever mention Captain Pugwash over there..this forum will end up on more fucking lists..it'll be like the year Jimmy Saville did a pantomime version of Schindlers List in Great Ormond St...we'll all end up getting damned t an eternity of listening t JVB recite Me and Lee accompanied by Ralph Cinque on harpsichord and the Tom Graves balaliaka orchestra in a room fumigated by the flatulence of a post triple strength gerbil vindaloo Brian Doyle..

Damn right, Alex. JFK new about the proposal. He mentioned it to Marilyn Monroe as he loaded her with a guinea pig and put on his catchers mit. With both of them out of the way, the program went ahead. We need the letter that's hidden in the Whitehouse.

Get Doug Caddy on the case..it'll probably be in the envelope alongside the letter announcing the alien presence..you know the one Nixon left buried in the Oval Office wall..i used t wonder where JVB found such gullible suckers..they do get the Ed forum in Istanbul?..That sounds like the title of a low budget art house flick..two tin foil hatters chased half way across t globe by merciless CIA killers..they must be silenced because only they knew James Files went commando the day he shot JFK..

Steely i hereby nominate you for the inaugural Tony Hart and Morph Memorial Award for 1980s BBC Children's Programme Related humour..it's sure t become a fiercely contested, highly coveted award..in fact I've already heard Timothy Claypole from Rentaghost was arrested planting a pipe bomb under the Grange Hill boys lavatory.
Your line " Zebedee leering into the camera. "Time for bed". My God" was one of the funniest things I've read in ages. I was laughing so much the missus thought I was taking an apoplectic stroke....her little dog was howling away like two lesbos Transylvanian vampires had bilocated from Dealey Plaza..
Are you in the UK Steely? If i may b so bold may i inquire if you are related t the Norfolk Dans.?.heirs of the famous Zebedee Dan..Baron Water Vole of Ashby dela Zouch...who set fire t the King of Spain's beard with a prototype water vole grenade..his launching mechanism revolutionised Tudor concepts of naval warfare..or are you perhaps one of the Stirlingshire Dans? I know Lord Hepatitis Dan quite well..we sometimes go hunting together..scouring the moors for the shy Highland Three Scrotumed Gerbil..half gerbil half haggis it's rarely ever seen..in fact the last recorded sighting was when a large bagpipe playing male was spotted doing the backstroke in the Dealey Plaza reflecting pool at around 12,29 on 22nd November 1963..

Our clan hails from the NW of England, Alex. We are renowned as a worrier clan. We sweat the big stuff. While the majority of other forum members argue minor details Great uncle Dez Dan (non dare call him desperate) has called us to his allotment for crisis talks regarding this.....


http://educationforum.ipbhost.com/topic/25827-time-i-changed-profile-picture/

Here we have the perfect example of a JFK assassination topic which gets old Ma Dan's bunion to cause her gyp and order Dez to assemble us all together. We'll thrash it out while pulling rhubarb.

Thanks Steely. I hope you didn't mind me asking. I thought i detected traces of the wry acerbic wit that's seemingly endemic t this Sceptred Isle.
I'm just across Hadrians Wall. The dear green place t be precise.
We're heading down t your neck of the woods t watch India v Pakistan tomorrow.
We were going t leave this afternoon but a sudden infestation of mutant Basil Brushes put paid t our plans.
One of the little fuckers got up into the bedroom window..pointing a Mannlicher Carcano at the parade of conga dancing South Texan syphilitic stoats..
Boom fucking Boom indeed.
I believe that thread on the Ed forum was started by a gentleman who still thinks JVB has some credibility..for a moment i thought I'd wandered into some bizarre tin foil hat dating site..hey Duncan forget vampire dating..
Imagine the sort of guy/gal whod go for Brian..a masochistic Helen Keller with poor taste in footwear and even poorer personal hygiene..
I hope you weren't offended by me calling Lord Dan of Stirlingshire by his nickname..its a private joke of ours...after an apocalyptic evening in a Caracas clip joint..i came out riddled with more diseases and peculiar fanged parasites clinging t my skeletal frame..why it was like being in Dave Ferries apartment..
"Be a dear pass the tarantulas Judy"...