Douglas P Horne

DOUGLAS  P HORNE

’Twas in another forum, one of trolls and duds

Where alteration is a virtue and the facts are covered in mud 

I came into that wilderness, ready to  be reborn

“Come in,” they said, “and do you believe in Douglas P horne"?



"Douglas P Horne", they said, "you can rest assured"

Has all the answers, and his book is bigger than Bug's

In a world of Liftons and Larsens, and others fighting over cow turds

“Come in,” they said, “We'll give you a Horne among the herd”



Not a word was spoke in reply, there was little I could invoke

Alterationists like to prod and poke

Try imagining a place where it’s always fuzzy and warm

So long as you follow the wisdom of Douglas P Horne



I was burned out from exhaustion, just trying to hoist a sail

Poisoned in the trenches an’ blown out by hate mail

Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged like a Sanibel unicorn

“Get out,” they said, “you're no follower of Douglas P horne”



Suddenly I turned around and they were standin’ there

With Lifton pins in  their lapels and Horne fairy dust in their hair

They walked up to me like Marion Morrison and shook my purple haze

“Stay away from here” they said, “the mods you must obey”



Now there’s a wall between us, no more members to the fold

While a new generation is doing the zfilm shuffle, getting rythms crossed

Paying homage to Lifton and Fetzer but most of all to Horne

“Just stay away,” they said, “we've got sheep to be shorn”



Well, the mods walk on egg shells while Horne's sales are paramount

Yeah nothing really matters much, it’s sales alone that count

And the one-eyed manipulator he pitches with a fork

“Come in” they said, “if you can sell more Douglas P Horne”



I’ve heard newbie posters wailin’ like a Texas Loyer

And old men with old ideas still getting all the favors

Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?

“Stay away,” they said, “you're an agent out to get the good Doug Horne”



In a little forum post, I made one too many roasts

"Authors are off limit", they said an’ they again gave me the ol' heave ho

I offered up my evidence and got repaid with scorn

“Get out,” they said, “you can't say that about Horne”



Well, I’m livin’ in a foreign country so I’m bound to cross the line

Facts walk a razor’s edge, someday that'll be fine

If I could only turn forward the clock to when that day is born

I'd say, come on in, come on in, it's a big tent for one an' all.

JOHN BUTLER AND HIS FIDDLIN' DIDDLIN' DOPPELGANGERS  ( featuring  John " Bushy" Butler- Kentucky's  Own Champion  Pubic Fiddler, guest vocalists  The Goatee of  Lurve , 2Moms and  Utah's  most  dangerous  gangsta  polygamist,  The  Notorious  P.I.G )

RELEASE THEIR STUNNING NEW ALBUM  ON ELECTRIC FEZ RECORDS 

Produced by  Puff Yiddy  Fetzer and  Don " Jizzmeister" Jeffries 

A DOPPELTASTIC REWORKING OF BOB DYLAN'S SEMINAL 1974 BLOOD ON THE TRACKS..

BLOOD ON TWO BACKS 

Including the Smash Hit Single  " Douglas P Horne"

Tangled Up in Jew

You're  A Big Fake Mom Now 

Simple Sandy Don't Piss on your Plate 

Idiot Wind ( blowin' through  John Butler's  ruptured prostate  like a  Kentucky hillbilly yodeling  up the  Grand  Coulee Dam)

Lily  Rosemary and the  Jack of Hearts ( A Mormon Wedding  Song  feat  guest rap from the  Notorious P.I.G)

If you see  her say " You're  CIA" ( feat the vocal styling of  Linnie Mae Randle( hologram  courtesy of  Hooke Linestein and Cinquer ) and the  Notorious P.I.G)

Fezfuls  of Piss 

WARNING  LISTEN TO THIS RECORD AT YOUR OWN RISK!! ELECTRIC FEZ RECORDS ( Subsidiary of  Death Fez Inc ( Equatorial  Guinea,  Azerbaijan and  South  Ossetia ) under licence from  Horny Hobbits  , an Eher Verlag company ) ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SUBSEQUENT IMPOTENCE,  PSYCHOSIS,  PUBLIC NUDITY,  GREY PONYTAILS OR CONVERSIONS TO MORMONISM 

BUY TWO COPIES OF BLOOD ON TWO BACKS AND GET A COPY OF  JUDY BAKER UNPLUGGED  AND THE NOTORIOUS P.I.G TROTTERS AND  TITTIES FREE..

Ah yes, the infamous Death Fez Inc, kicked out of Calcutta for lack of hygeine. but finding a  permanent base in Merkin, Saskachewan.

People like Butler cause far more damage to JFK research than the lone nutters. Perhaps that is indeed the intention.

I find the body alteration theory implausible. If it was so necessary for conspiracy plotters to intercept and alter the body to eliminate evidence of shots from the front, wouldn’t it be far simpler to just have the shots fired from behind?

However, it does seem like there was a shell game with hearses and caskets at Bethesda. I’d believe there could have been a pre-autopsy examination of the wounds to get a general idea of what happened and rule out the involvement of a foreign government and get ahead of the story if necessary.

Who actually decided to remove the body from the custody of the Dallas forensic examiner?

I think a similar explanation can be made for the first examination of the Z film at the NPIC by Dino Brugioni on the evening of the 23rd. The second Z film examined by NPIC the subsequent evening by a completely separate team headed by Homer McMahon is more puzzling. Is it possible that interagency rivalry led another government agency to get a copy of the Z film and have their own analysis done and NPIC head Arthur Lundahl was unable to divulge that this had already been done and had to accede to the request? Or perhaps the second team was simply a confirmatory check on the first team’s work. I never saw a transcript of McMahon’s statement and I don’t believe there is a video of an interview with McMahon as there is with Brugioni.

Interestingly, Doug Horne supports both the body and Z film alteration theories.