If we can't get the case reopened, we may as well make some money

Very creative Greg and just imagine, something every single member of the JFKA research community can truly enjoy and celebrate. All these years wasted casting pearls before swine when we could have been bringing home the bacon. Let's f'kg go!

Wonderful idea, Greg.

Presidential limousine with special rear seat door-to-trunk to swap bodies.

I heard a rumor there was supposed to be a Special Edition Pierre Lafitte series, but it turned out to be a hoax.

CastroSimp wrote:I heard a rumor there was supposed to be a Special Edition Pierre Lafitte series, but it turned out to be a hoax.

Aww, cripes. 

That was gonna be the centerpiece of the whole thing.

But I guess there is still the Lafitte Glow-in-the-Dark Daybook Bedtime Stories for the kiddies. Titles include

Yo Ho Ho! Pierre Goes Pirating! 

Bring me the Head of Captain Feathersword!

Camp Etiquette

See Hyman Run! Run, Hyman, Run! 

You Too Can Plan a Coup While Baking Cookies

A Brian Doyle doll. You pull the cord (granted it's 100 yards long) and he offers his opinion of the research community.

What about My Little Unicorn ( with or without retractable horn, howeever , bearing in mind certain outstanding legal issues involving our Brian and young kiddies,  this might affect any potential in store personal appearances at toy shops or daycare centres, just to be on the safe side we should contact the VBL and get her to check the small print,  appended to Brian's Law)

Providing these difficulties are successfully overcome,  the potential is practically limitless. 

An entire My Little Unicorn universe- or Uni- verse , I'm thinking Lord of the Rings crossed with the Saw Franchise crossed with Schindler's List.

My Little Unicorn and all his cheery chums in Rainbow valley: Dickie the artistic aardvark   with his permanently paint smeared nose, Larry the swinging sloth and Tiny Tom, the sex obsessed giant malfunctioning toy robot ( of course the sexual aspect will have to be seriously downplayed,  maybe just have Tom spending far too much time alone in his makeshift bedroom ( on top of one of the magic doppelganger trees , that sprout up in Rainbow valley at the start of every autumn ) with just a large cumbersome looking spanner and a glossy pin up of Mr Snuffalopicus from Sesame Street for company )

Every  day, under the three suns - Sanibel,  Hannibal and Banibel- they have lots and lots of fun, with their bikes, selfie sticks,  a never ending supply of ruhypnol and amyl nitrate,  courtesy of Albert Unicorn,  My Little Unicorns foal daddy , and when their not out frolicking,  painting,  sniffing,  wanking or snoozing,  there's nothing they love more than credible research,  trying to discover the truth behind the Coup that deposed the rightful ruler of Rainbow valley 

A kind of animatronic Boobsy Twins/ Nancy Jew,  sorry Nancy Drew, I wouldn't want to create any misapprehensions,  implying that My Little Unicorn was in anyway anti semitic,  despite the Wolfsangel and the Black Sun prominently carved on his horn, not to mention the 18 printed neatly on his hind hoofs 

However,  its not all an idyllic credible research paradise ( somewhere,  according to Albert Unicorns secret statistics,  that has been " jew free" for nearly 70 unicorn years, before that jewicorns,  as they were called,  were forced to paint their horns yellow and shave off their manes)

Next to Rainbow valley is the Wildwood,  a dark sinister place,  full of unscrupulous stoats,  reclusive badgers,  bizarre cowboy hat wearing polygamous skunks,  a compound full of neo nazi " rodent separatist" weasels , a commune of adventurous free loving gerbils and finally,  a baffling assortment of human- squirrel hybrid creatures,  who live in an old abandoned mineshaft cum septic tank. ( The Wildwood was once home to a colony of conspiro creationists,  led by the enigmatic mystic Baba Gaal,  who tried becoming self sufficient by mining pixie dust. The only survivor is a leathery old cuss,  who lives with his common law squirrel wife in a tumble down shack. Rumours still circulate, to this day,  about the Wildwood being the location of a secret jewicorn " resettlement stable "," Birkenauhorn " commanded by Albert Unicorn in person,  rather, in  unicorn,  and run by a homicidal detachment of black shirted stoats and weasels. Indeed you can still see the ruins of the 6 chimneys,  that were, according to Albert Unicorns later testimony,  before the Interplanetary Crimes Against Jewicorns Committee,  built as props for a unicorn friendly version of Mary Poppins,  specifically the Chim chim neree scene,  they were most definitely not the half dynamited remains of the 6 crematorium chimneys of Birkenauhorn)

The Sheriff/ Moderator of Rainbow valley,, a somewhat dull witted Hertfordshire teaser boar, called " Squiggly" Sanford D Pigge( so called  because he has the twirliest tail in Rainbow valley)always warns the inhabitants to steer clear of the Wildwood and it's inhabitants.

But the ever vigilant little unicorn spots him through his binoculars -while scouring the purple spotted skies for a glimpse of his own true love, Miss Grace,  the semi mythical lady unicorn,  who can fly and sing and do things to a little unicorns horn that shouldn't be natural or legal- nearly every night,  as the twin moons rise, and ' moon" each other,  he spots the porcine snouted sheriff,  tip toeing into the Wildwood on his hind trotters 

Finally,  theres the Dark Tower, high up amongst the cragged peaks of the Perfidious Albion mountain range,  home to My Little Unicorns arch nemesis,  Administrator of the Seven Oceans and the Twelve Forums of Pissamungous,  The Emperor of the British  bastards,  Archemandrite of the land of the 13 inch headed orcs,  Tyrant of the fOO, Cosmic Knitwear Supremo etc etc.,  Lord Gordo Splattericus II. 

Heir of Der Lord Adolf Splattericus, notorious jewicorn hater and son of the infamously dissolute Lord Gordo Splattericus I

Arch oppressor, Black magician and owner of the universe's largest collection of unicorns horns ( and Doug Hornes) 
Lord Gordo is determined to eradicate the twin threats of credible research and unicorns from his mighty dominions 

" My goal is to make the unicorns as endangered as the jewicorns were under the auto erotic Moderatorship of my glorious father "

Aided by his henchmen: Mark, the dreaded Black Knight,  a self castrated ex Jesuit turned student of the dark arts , his defacto  deputy and the odious Collaborator in chief Speer, ex minion of the once powerful Orc Empire,  who betrayed his Orc overlords in return for a galactic forum to bore into oblivion under Lord Gordo's new regime 

His most dreaded servants are his highly trained legions of Flying Spunkies ( British definition)one third genetically modified chimpanzee, one third genetically degraded Speer and one third the cheese between the Black Knights toes...

They soar over Rainbow valley,  ever vigilant,  watching for any clip clops,  splatters, yawns or Snuffalopicuses of dissent...

For My Little Unicorn and his friends and the leaders of the underground resistance,  dedicated to freeing Rainbow valley and bringing back the good old days,  under the benevolent patriarchal dictatorship of Ras Tafuckari Armstrong,  the Conquering Doppelganger of Judah,  presently living in exile,  in a heavily guarded compound down Sanibel way 

Freedom,  Doppelgangers and Credible Research 

No more boobies and tyrannical moderation 

In fact,  My Little Unicorn action sets could be made, like the Star Wars figures of old.

The possibilities are limitless. 

My Little Unicorn combs, hairbands, condoms, pregnancy  testing kits, pret a unicorn fully attachable ponytails,  Dickie the artistic aardvark paintsets,  colouring books,  crayons,  Sheriff Sanford D Pigge costumes,  complete with shades and trotter compliant cowboy boots,  Lord Gordo's Throne Room action sets, complete with moveable Salacious Fez,  his half doppled dogsbody/ plaything....I'm thinking Jabba the Hutts palace with a mock Tudor aesthetic,  timber frames and amply proportioned serving wenches. Not forgetting the Jimbo Baggins All Star Jive Band,  featuring the Fakettes backing singers and Lemkin the many tentacled octoped on Hammond organ,  mini moog,  piano,  marimba,  flugelhorn and spoons,  to provide a little musical accompaniment...

Great idea Greg,  we should get onto Disney right away...

Voiceover: " My Little Pony is all grown up now. Add a horn and a tail to My Little Pony and you get My Little Unicorn "

Remember the retractable lightsabres? And for us British bastards the Bear from Bo Selecta's  retractable " tail"? Something like that would really turn the horn into a brilliant sales gimmick, even produce My Not so Little Unicorn,  for the adult,  and the niche market ( according to Stinky Mac's exhaustive research apparently " unicorn cosplay " is a big deal amongst certain underground LARPers) complete with anatomically accurate distended ballsac,  we could even include a tiny hernia, for when he gets too horny , thinking about his dream lady unicorn....

CastroSimp wrote:I heard a rumor there was supposed to be a Special Edition Pierre Lafitte series, but it turned out to be a hoax.

The darn things arrived in the mail and all I actually got were Sandy Larsen action figures dressed in different professorial outfits.

JonathanCohen wrote:

CastroSimp wrote:I heard a rumor there was supposed to be a Special Edition Pierre Lafitte series, but it turned out to be a hoax.

The darn things arrived in the mail and all I actually got were Sandy Larsen action figures dressed in different professorial outfits.

Caveat Emptor!

Lego is a whole other toy angle. All of the major figures in Lego, each sold separately. Babushka Lady, Man with the Umbrella [with tiny plastic darts], the two blacks sitting on the bench behind the wall, Lovelady, Sarah Stanton, Jack and Jackie, the Secret Service agents, the guy sitting in the train work building...the possibilities are endless.

There could even be a multiverse of it, with the Comedian shooting Kennedy.

I have a relative who works at the White House. I gave him a White House Lego set as a congrats to working there [hasn't had time to build it in two years] so I thought - a complete Dealey Plaza Lego set would be perfect.

A scale model of Air Force One with a body bag in the cargo compartment.

A doll of Bookhout disguised as Jack Ruby.

Vinny wrote:A scale model of Air Force One with a body bag in the cargo compartment.

Carpet with vegetable soup stains sold separately.

Umbrella Man with umbrella that fires darts (not suitable for younger children). Comes with Dark Complected Man with working radio (batteries not included)!