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greg_parker
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Thu 26 Sep 2013, 9:23 pm
From mcBride's initial FBI report based on 11/23/63 interview. Note that the FBI used quote marks and that McBride read and signed each page: http://www.maryferrell.org/mffweb/archive/viewer/showDoc.do?docId=95623&relPageId=82
"During his first visit to my home in late 1957 or early 1958 the discussion turned to politics and to the possibility of war. At this time I made a statement to the effect that President DWIGHT EISENHOWER was doing a pretty good job for a man of his age and background, but that I did feel more emphasis should be placed on the space program in view of Russian successes. OSWALD was very anti-Eisenhower, and stated that President EISENHOWER was exploiting the working people. He then made a statement to the effect that he would like to kill President EISENHOWER because he was exploiting the working class. This statement was not made in jest, and OSWALD was in a serious frame of mind when this statement was made."
I want to concentrate on the two highlighted parts of the text.

1. This is expanded on later in the document when McBride states that in "April or May, 1958 Oswald stated he was moving to Ft Worth....in about August 1958 I got a letter from him saying he had gotten mixed up in a anti-Negro or anti-Communist riot on high school grounds in Ft Worth"

The official timeline indicates Marguerite and Oswald actually moved to Ft Worth 2 years prior to what McBride recalled.

The official timeline is correct.

Here is the proof. From the Spokane Daily Chronicle Sept 3, 1956


[edit to add: there were no similar stories coming out of Ft Worth in 1958]

why palmer mcbride was wrong 7703979spokane_daily_chronicle_9.3.56_ft_worth_riot

Note that the riot started at the "Riverside Elementary School". This was undoubtedly the issue referred to by Oswald in his letter- and it happened in 1956 - not 1958.

On the second issue, McBride is recalling a debate with Oswald about "Russian success" with their space program. I'm not sure exactly how this played out, but if McBride later claimed this was a reference to the successful Sputnik launch in 1957, someone most likely planted that thought in his mind, based on his own erroneous timeline. If he had meant "Sputnik", he surely would have said "Sputnik".

It was by no means impossible to talk about "Russian success" in space PRIOR to Sputnik. The newspapers of the day were continually hammering away at how the US was falling behind the successful Russians. 

Here are two stories on the subject of Russian success in space both published in the US in the months prior to Oswald leaving NO for Ft Worth. 
Soviet Race For 'Moon' Spurs US

Pay-Per-View - 
Christian Science Monitor - May 4, 1956 
According to reports , Soviet space . under the direction of t;ommission . on Travel. Some of the Soviet Union's top natural scientists are believed to be ... 



SOVIET SPACE SHIP IN '56 ENVISIONED; London Red Paper...

$3.95 - 
New York Times - Jan 3, 1956 
The Communist newspaper Daily Worker reported in a Moscow dispatch today that the Soviet Union might be ready to launch a space satellite this year.... 

_________________
Australians don't mind criminals: It's successful bullshit artists we despise. 
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-----------------------------
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"So what’s an independent-minded populist like me to do? I’ve had to grovel in promoting myself on social media, even begging for Amazon reviews and Goodreads ratings, to no avail." 
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:28 pm
Greg, did you see the Linda Faircloth video that John Armstrong made.

It's supposed to prove that everyone at Pfisterers remembered Oswald working there in 57/58.

It does no such thing. It proves that John Armstrong and Palmer McBride told everyone that Oswald worked there at that time.

I got called an agent provocatuer for pointing this out.
greg_parker
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:55 pm
@John Mooney wrote:Greg, did you see the Linda Faircloth video that John Armstrong made.

It's supposed to prove that everyone at Pfisterers remembered Oswald working there in 57/58.

It does no such thing. It proves that John Armstrong and Palmer McBride told everyone that Oswald worked there at that time.

I got called an agent provocatuer for pointing this out.
Why bother?

Lifton got one thing right. Armstrong and his enablers went on a witness recruitment drive.

Go to the bottom of this. Linda Minor, I think, pretty well nails it.
http://quixoticjoust.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/colossal-failure-to-research-ekdahl.html

As for Faircloth...

these are all the Pfisterer employees Armstrong ignored. Why? Because they all say 1956.

http://quixoticjoust.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/colossal-failure-to-research-ekdahl.html

Peggy Zimmerman - recalled Oswald as attending in 54/55. Did Armstrong interview her?
http://www.maryferre...71&relPageId=26

Mrs Bernierita Smith - recalled Oswald as attending in 54/55. Did Armstrong interview her?
http://www.maryferre...71&relPageId=26

Mrs Anna Langlois - recalled Oswald as attending in 54/55. Did Armstrong interview her?
http://www.maryferre...71&relPageId=27

Fred O'sullivan - 54/55. Did Armstrong interview him?
http://www.maryferre...71&relPageId=27

Jack Loyakano - 54/55. Did Armstrong interview him?
http://www.maryferre...bsPageId=715120

Carroll Battistella - 54/55. Did Armstrong interview her?
http://www.maryferre...71&relPageId=28

Joan Burgard - 54/55. Did Armstrong interview her?
http://www.maryferre...71&relPageId=29

One final thing - in Louisiana, a Census Form was completed for EVERY child attending school in that state. Did Armstrong check Census records?
http://www.maryferre...07&relPageId=83

The response? You can't trust the FBI. All those reports are forged.

Great.

Then all the more reason Armstrong should have spoken to those people. Imagine the furore if half a dozen ex-students all independently claimed the FBI changed their reports?

_________________
Australians don't mind criminals: It's successful bullshit artists we despise. 
              Lachie Hulme            
-----------------------------
The Cold War ran on bullshit.
              Me


"So what’s an independent-minded populist like me to do? I’ve had to grovel in promoting myself on social media, even begging for Amazon reviews and Goodreads ratings, to no avail." 
Don Jeffries

"I've been aware of Greg Parker's work for years, and strongly recommend it." Peter Dale Scott

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greg_parker
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 10:17 am
John,

I saw a comment on the Harvey & Lee FB page that DPF was a H & L friendly forum... so I wandered over there for a look at what they have.

While there, I came across your debate with some of them on this subject, and within that, you had some nice things to say about me - so thank you for that!

But there was one post that I found a bit baffling.

One made by Jim Hargrove:


I never heard of Greg Parker until a few days ago when I stumbled across a lengthy, year or two old debate between him and David Josephs.

Parker declared victory every time he posted, but David ate him up in the debate! EVIDENCE is a funny thing, and joking about it doesn't change it.

Jim
Jim and I interacted on JFK newsgroups about 10 or so years back.


He even sent some of my material to Armstrong in 2002.

http://digitalcollections.baylor.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/po-arm/id/14905/rec/1

Back then I thought Jim was a decent enough fellow - even though I was at that time, not convinced one way or the other by his postings about Armstrong's theory.

Not so sure about him any more.

He liked my material back then -- but now that I have come out against "Harvey & Lee", I apparently couldn't win an argument against a turnip.

_________________
Australians don't mind criminals: It's successful bullshit artists we despise. 
              Lachie Hulme            
-----------------------------
The Cold War ran on bullshit.
              Me


"So what’s an independent-minded populist like me to do? I’ve had to grovel in promoting myself on social media, even begging for Amazon reviews and Goodreads ratings, to no avail." 
Don Jeffries

"I've been aware of Greg Parker's work for years, and strongly recommend it." Peter Dale Scott

https://gregrparker.com
greg_parker
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 1:14 pm
David Josephs from that same DPF thread:

With regards to Beauregard...
when I did finally find the Asst Principal HEAD explanation of the school days, AS I ALSO POSTED, I find that Greg's analysis was incorrect and my agreeing with him premature.

Help us understand how Oswald attends a complete SPRING semester in 1954 and yet has a full attendance record for BOTH semesters...  
or how they can both be living at 126 Exchange AND at Lillian's that Spring...
Here is Asst Principle Head's explanation:

"The interpretation of the numbers set forth opposite this abbreviation would represent A TOTAL LISTING OF THE SCHOOL DAYS FOR A GIVEN SCHOOL YEAR. He further stated that regularly 180 days appear in the school year and it was a state law that a number of school days in a given year must not drop below 170."
http://www.maryferrell.org/mffweb/archive/viewer/showDoc.do?docId=10530&relPageId=10
http://www.maryferrell.org/mffweb/archive/viewer/showDoc.do?docId=10530&relPageId=11

David has officially lost the plot. 

The Armstrong/Josephs line has been that the figure represented the number of days attendance by Oswald.

In the debate at the ed forum, David finally conceded I was correct - that the figure actually represented the number of school days available to Oswald for the remainder of the school year (given that he commenced after the start of the school year).

David is now trying to say that what Asst Principle Head told the FBI by way of explaining the records actually supports Armstrong.

I don't think so, David. It unequivocally supports my argument.
 
If you think otherwise, you would have provided a link and/or a quote from the report. You didn't because you KNOW it does NOT support you.

Nice try. But if this is what the DPF prides itself on, it's no better than some of the forums it likes to berate.

_________________
Australians don't mind criminals: It's successful bullshit artists we despise. 
              Lachie Hulme            
-----------------------------
The Cold War ran on bullshit.
              Me


"So what’s an independent-minded populist like me to do? I’ve had to grovel in promoting myself on social media, even begging for Amazon reviews and Goodreads ratings, to no avail." 
Don Jeffries

"I've been aware of Greg Parker's work for years, and strongly recommend it." Peter Dale Scott

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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 3:47 pm
Jim Hargrove is the one who posted in that debate the Linda Faircloth video as some kind of proof that Oswald worked at Pfisterers during 57/58.

But if you watch it the sleight of hand becomes apparent.

For a start Linda Faircloth didn't work there when Oswald was there and Pfisterers have no employment records for the time.

Then Linda Faircloth says they say Oswald worked there during that period -  after she gives a long line of "we spoke to... they said the one you need to speak to is..." - because the ultimate source for the date is JOHN ARMSTRONG himself and Palmer McBride.

She says "John Armstrong" with a nod to off camera because John Armstrong is sitting there.
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 7:44 pm
@John Mooney wrote:Jim Hargrove is the one who posted in that debate the Linda Faircloth video as some kind of proof that Oswald worked at Pfisterers during 57/58.

But if you watch it the sleight of hand becomes apparent.

For a start Linda Faircloth didn't work there when Oswald was there and Pfisterers have no employment records for the time.

Then Linda Faircloth says they say Oswald worked there during that period -  after she gives a long line of "we spoke to... they said the one you need to speak to is..." - because the ultimate source for the date is JOHN ARMSTRONG himself and Palmer McBride.

She says "John Armstrong" with a nod to off camera because John Armstrong is sitting there.
Unbelievable.

Here's more from that thread:

Hargrove 
JA said someone was arguing that the days listed under "Re Ad" on the Beauregard JHS records really meant number of total school days in the semester/year, not the number of days a kid was present.


Doesn't make sense, though, if you look at the "Re Ad" total for the 1954-55 school year, which is 168, two days less than the minimum 170 day school year mandated by Louisiana law.


I've altered the Early Years write-up on the website a bit, highlighting just the 53-54 fall semester lines on the PS 44 and Beauregard records hoping to make this conflict clearer.
 
Josephs in reply
Jim...

That was me talking to John about that... Asst Principal HEAD says both things in the FBI telling of it. He first says it's the TOTAL number of school days, then he says it's the number Oswald attended.


Here is Asst Principal Head again -- maybe someone can find where he says the figure represents the number of days Oswald attended.
http://www.maryferrell.org/mffweb/archive/viewer/showDoc.do?docId=10530&relPageId=10

All I can see is where he states it's the total listing of school days for a given school year. 

Here is the actual record.
http://www.maryferrell.org/mffweb/archive/viewer/showDoc.do?docId=1317&relPageId=847
As you can see, Hargrove has as much trouble understanding the records as Josephs does. The total number of days is clearly indicated - 179 (wrong figure). Hargrove is getting his "168" from the record, but is forgetting to add on days absent. 168 + 12 days absence = 180 days in the school year. 

I see how they "chastised" you about DPF being a research site and how you should pony up with some research.... but if this is any indication of the quality of their work -- their insights into the records... Mr. Drago is welcome to keep them all over there.  

What a bunch of oxygen thieves.

They are of course, guilty of the very thing they accused you of - merely parroting the (flawed) works of another - in this case me.

The difference is, you understood the material. They just believe what they are told to believe by Armstrong -- and then, like that square peg in a round hole... they hammer, twist and contort the evidence until they are satisfied it fits close enough to Armstrong's conclusions about it.


Last edited by greg parker on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 9:00 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : correction from records)

_________________
Australians don't mind criminals: It's successful bullshit artists we despise. 
              Lachie Hulme            
-----------------------------
The Cold War ran on bullshit.
              Me


"So what’s an independent-minded populist like me to do? I’ve had to grovel in promoting myself on social media, even begging for Amazon reviews and Goodreads ratings, to no avail." 
Don Jeffries

"I've been aware of Greg Parker's work for years, and strongly recommend it." Peter Dale Scott

https://gregrparker.com
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 8:14 pm
greg parker wrote:The difference is, you understood the material. They just believe what they are told to believe by Armstrong -- and then, like that square peg in a round hole... they hammer, twist and contort the evidence until they are satisfied it fits close enough to Armstrong's conclusions about it.
That's the Harvey and Lee cult for you. No objectivity whatsoever.

BTW, great work on Palmer McBride, Greg.
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Fri 27 Sep 2013, 8:23 pm
I only did what others did. People chip in with comments all the time.

But I made the cardinal sin of questioning supposed "research".

I also asked... why would the CIA (or whoever) decide to use two 13 years olds to create dual Oswalds back in 1952? How could that be useful?

I get how body doubles and identity swapping could possibly be useful. What I don't get is why two people with the same persona/name would be useful. It doesn't make any sense.

What if the Russians had checked up on Oswald.. "hey Vladimir, wtfski.. there are two of him".

I was told the answers were already in the thread (they weren't), so I asked for them to point me to the answers (they couldn't).

I asked for an example where this hairbrained scheme might be of some use.

That's when the ad hominem started so that was it for me.
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Sun 13 Apr 2014, 3:44 pm
bump

_________________
Australians don't mind criminals: It's successful bullshit artists we despise. 
              Lachie Hulme            
-----------------------------
The Cold War ran on bullshit.
              Me


"So what’s an independent-minded populist like me to do? I’ve had to grovel in promoting myself on social media, even begging for Amazon reviews and Goodreads ratings, to no avail." 
Don Jeffries

"I've been aware of Greg Parker's work for years, and strongly recommend it." Peter Dale Scott

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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Sun 13 Apr 2014, 5:23 pm
greg parker wrote:bump
Thanks for the bump, Greg. I was quite new to the forum when this thread came out, mainly focused on the PM discussion, so I missed this (but then, there's a hell of a lot I've missed). John Mooney's experience at DPF is a lot like yours. You too "made the cardinal sin of questioning supposed 'research.'" When guys like Severson make insightful comments and ask legitimate questions, they get patronized by Armstrong's Grand Most Excellent Masters. Bottom line: shut up and believe.
 
They are indeed a cult.
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Sun 13 Apr 2014, 9:12 pm
Stan Dane wrote:
greg parker wrote:bump
Thanks for the bump, Greg. I was quite new to the forum when this thread came out, mainly focused on the PM discussion, so I missed this (but then, there's a hell of a lot I've missed). John Mooney's experience at DPF is a lot like yours. You too "made the cardinal sin of questioning supposed 'research.'" When guys like Severson make insightful comments and ask legitimate questions, they get patronized by Armstrong's Grand Most Excellent Masters. Bottom line: shut up and believe.
 
They are indeed a cult.

Like Stan I was new here when that thread was running and i couldn't make heads or tails out of it. Now, after looking over more of the H&L stuff here and at DPF, I still can't make heads or tails out of it.

I have to agree with John on this: why would anyone start a doppelganger program with a couple of kids? Maybe some spook with a lot of time on their hands or maybe some sort of testing program. Still, I see no evidence of anything "going on" except for the birthing of - as Stan said - a cult.

Greg, thanks for bumping this one.
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on Sat 14 Mar 2020, 12:06 am
Thanks to Malcolm Blunt
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on Sat 14 Mar 2020, 12:10 am
Michael Wulf - Palmer McBride

Palmer McBride Nov 25 FBI report

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on Wed 13 May 2020, 5:47 am
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Wed 13 May 2020, 10:31 pm
EPILOGUE-
FINKLE LOFTUS AND THE GHOST OF CONSPIRACIES PAST.WRITTEN BY JUDYTH VARY BAKER
A Trine Day Theatrical Production.
In Assocation with Trine Day Patent Medicines. " Dr" Donnie Jeffries Ku Klux Kovid19 Killer.." Treat those uppity Kovid particles like it's sweet home Alabammy.."
Burhams Bowel Buster - Laxative and Anal Douching Kit. As recommended by Gregory Burnham. Fetzers ex philosophical pool boy and former " Sgt at Arms" at JFKResearch Forum.
A Trine Day Special Offer...Collect. and send 500 Burnham Bowel Buster coupons with $1000 t Trine Day Enterprises c/o Ponzi House, Uri Geller Boulevard, Mogadishu, Somalia and we'll send you David Healys computer simulation of the "other film", a new all improved edition of Ee and Leee AND Juddufkis Guide t surviving the Coronavirus " plandemic"


SCENE- A DESERTED BOSTON ALLEYWAY ON A COLD WINTER'S NIGHT. A SILVERY MOON SHIMMERING IN A COLD CLEAR CRYSTALLINE SKY.
LOFTUS IS SLEEPING IN HIS 1981 FORD GALAXIE...IN THE MOONLIGHT WE CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE OUT THE LETTERING EMBOSSED ON THE SIDE " FINKLE LOFTUS BEST SELLING AUTHOR. AVAILABLE FOR CABARET, BIRTHDAYS AND BAR MITZVAHS. VERY REASONABLE RATES. HOLDING A HEN OR STAG PARTY? INQUIRE ABOUT MY AUTOPSY RELATED STRIPTEASE ROUTINE. " VERY LIFELIKE" Albert Doyle. Sanibel Zeitung.
ALSO AVAILABLE FOR DOG WALKING, PEST EXTERMINATING, OFFICE CLEANING . WILL CONSIDER BEING GUINEA PIG FOR REPUTABLE MEDICAL EXPERIMENTATION.Loftus is parked outside the HQ of the Mary Ferrell Foundation. The IRS having impounded his assets and frozen his last remaining Zimbabwean bank account he needs an urgent cash infusion. For pressing " research related apparatuses. Although quite how a fully operational scale model of a " Skeffingtons Daughter" A rack like torture implement used for breaking bones and stretching muscles will hasten the publication of " Final Charade" is anyone's guess.
Loftus is slumped in the front seat. His heaving gut crammed up against the steering wheel. The backseat is full of trash. Mountainous heaps of extra large potato chip bags, hamburger wrappers, bottles of Sandoz " Ezy Buzz" narcotic cough syrup, Trine Days patented " Hairy like Vary and Fairy" miracle hair restorer. Although by the look on his bloated purple face and the thick trail of saliva dribbling down it's hard t tell if he's been using it or drinking it.
Probably both.
As the thick coagulating slime trickling down his bulbous misshapen forehead creates a noxious stench.
Perhaps that's why one of the windows remain slightly open. Allowing a chilly breeze t waft in causing the Harper fragment shaped furry dice that hang above the whole " I love Barry Manilow..I'm Mandy" sticker t swing gently.
Like a clutch of freshly lynched African Americans in Donnie Jeffries wettest dreams.


Loftus stirs slighty..." Oh Marina Da! Da! DA! Tell me again how much you want me...don't be too hard on your poor daughters..it's not Junie and Rachels fault they fell for me...no woman can resist me. I just whip out my hand drawn picture of the pre autopsy surgery and they just swoon..there's most definitely traces of surgery once I've finished giving 'em head"
Suddenly the car is filled by a faint groaning and clanking of chains. Loftus stirs again " Jim you can keep me locked in this dungeon long as you like..but i will not appear at the Great OIC Zapruder Film Symposium..i don't even know how t get t Buda? That's not anywhere near Budapest? Last time i was there i was chased through an ancient gothic crypt by a headless doppelganger..lotta doppelgangers wandering about Budapest...
Suddenly a ghostly voice begins whispering.." Loftus Oh Loftus? Can you hear me. Wake up Loftus.."
A pale spectre materializes on the front seat( no Larry Trotter I'm not talking about that time you and Stevie Gaal had a seance and tried t summon the shade of Arlen Specter from the hereafter...It wasn't the smartest move letting an illiterate like Stevie operate the Ouija board was it? And you can't really blame the ghost of Snarlin' Marlin the Neck Wrecker..La Jollas 8th most elasticated Jewish sumo wrestler t chase you? Sitting strumming his harp, lazing on a cloud with a buxom cherubim...then all of a sudden he's dragged down into the dank basement of an abandoned morticians)...
" Loftus Loftus..Oh Loftus" the spectre persists...rattling his chains..
" Is that you Fred? I didn't mean t steal your body alteration idea...that whole thing about the Rottweilers and the barrels of nuclear waste and that old abandoned mine shaft was just a joke..."
" Loftus" the irate spectre groans giving his chains a firm clank.." Wake up you lazy slob..it's me Palmer...It's the ghost of Palmer McBride I'm here as a punishment...the Big JC doesn't look kindly on shady snake oil salesmen and slimy fucking charlatan cult leaders. I'm hear t warn you Loftus...a terrible fate awaits you on the other side"
Loftus is fully awake now.
Loftus.." the other side? I most certainly do not play for the other side..that was just that bastard Roger Feinman spreading more of his scurrilous rumours..Those polaroids were fake!! Jack White figured it out!! It was my head superimposed on a leather g string wearing cowboy...and Jim some Village People wannabes head superimposed on Jim Fetzers body. I know all about body swapping"
Suddenly he recognises Palmer
" Palmer It's you!! But i thought you were dead!! In fact i studied your autopsy photos...quite meticulously in fact"
Palmer " i bet you did you ghoulish son of a bitch. Yes it's me. Yes I'm dead. I've been sent back t give you a warning...a like in that Dickens book.."
Loftus.." i told you that was my head superimposed on another body!! I've never set foot inside the Jolly Dickend" Sanibels leading pirate themed gay fetishists club...just ask David Josephs..he wasn't there that time either"
Palmer.." I meant Charles Dickens you. fucking morbid bastard...by the way there's a couple of folk who are just dying t meet you...or should that be living t meet you? Burke and Hare...i believe you all were in the same line of work. Although they at least had some excuse...medical science and all that while you just catered t the macabre tastes of the tranquilised masses...anyway i haven't got much time...i always like t haunt Margot Robbies house about this time...just t make sure she doesn't slip in the shower..what an incredible body...makes me wish i still had something down there t play with..i tell you the whole fucking shadow hard on thing is a bastard t get used to!! Look who I'm talking to!! Your peckers been dormant for fucking decades...Dormant Pecker? Wasn't that the nickname of some smelly hippy?...Anyway Loftus let's get this over with...seeing you reminds me of the time I stumbled in on that poor Black Dahlia girl..."
Loftus" What are you doing here? Why are you haunting me? I'm an honest man. An honourable investigative journalist...anyone who says I'm a ghoulish fantasist catering t the warped desires.."
Palmer" Oh shut the fuck up Loftus...i ..if i wanted t listen t a pompous windbag pass gas I'd have gone t one of La Petomanes displays...La Fartuese they call him...can fart every fucking tune...does a killer impersonation of Nixon.." I'm not a crook!" fucking hilarious!! Even the Big JCs a fan. Never misses a show! Him Greta Garbo and Pol Pot down the front heckling away..by the way Loftus when did you publish Final Charade? Was it a best seller too? I mean it was kinda pathetic milking that one book of yours"
Loftus" I'm still researching Final Charade.."
Palmer.." Oh Loftus for Armstrong's sake"( suddenly turns even paler) Hearing the distant rumble of thunder
Loftus " Don't tell me Jim Fetzers dead too?"
Palmer." No that was just the Big JC...he gets kinda jealous..people taking Armstrong's name in vain...so you still haven't finished Final Charade huh? What about all that research? All those interviews?"
Loftus( mechanical voice) " it'll be published early next year"
Palmer ( sarcastically) " " Can't fucking wait!! I'm sure there'll be lines round the celestial Borders in the sky..I'm sure it'll be the biggest hit in the afterlife since poor old Lee Harvey Oswalds last book.." I am Lee you stupid motherfuckers and i didnt touch Judyth Baker" Kicked up a big stink about that did ole Lee.." Accuse me of killing Kennedy..starting WW3 ANYTHING except having an affair with that gurning troglodyte..I'd..Anyway Loftus t business"
Clears his throat and gives his chains a thorough rattle...sounding uncannily like a frantic nail polish remover crazed Paul Trejo trying t break into General Walkers vault.." Jason if and only if i can prise the coffin lid open with your 30 inch ACME Bull Conner Memorial leather dildo will you hold my red shirt "
In an terrible haunted wail..( no Larry Trotter for the last fucking time I'm not talking about that time you and Stevie Gaal tried t commune with Moby Dick...you've been doppelganging down Sanibel way far too long..you can't summon fictional entities)
Palmer " BEWARE LOFTUS BEWARE! An awful fate awaits those who knowingly spread falsehoods and steal the research of others...you mentioned nothing about newspaper reports of race riots when you interviewed me"
Loftus" it's a lie!! Parker, Farley or that bastard Roger Feinman...I'm an honourable man i tells you!!"
Just then there's a knock on the window. A state trooper peers in suspiciously
State trooper " Are you ok sir? We've been getting complaints...about the noise..you don't have any animals in there with you? Oh its YOU Mr Loftus..i should have guessed! Lone white male, morbidly obese, slumped in car making wild animalistic grunts...researching your next book Mr Loftus? I loved the last one!! All the boys in the stationhouse said it woulda made a great movie.." Body Snatchers on Main St"..." The Return of the teenage nymphomaniac body swappers" no that was that film we impounded last week..you wouldn't happen t know a John Butler would you? Used t b a school teacher!! Maybe that's why nearly 98% of serial killers come from Kentucky!! "
Loftus" I'm waiting for the foundation t open..I"
State trooper" Are you ok sir? You're sweating profusely and shaking..
I don't think it's normal t b foaming at the mouth like that either"
Loftus." you wouldn't happen t have any Ezy Buzz on you officer? Or Hairy like Vary and Fairy miracle hair restorer...bottled in Wuhan from finest Chernobyl spring water.."
State trooper( puzzled expression) Ezy Buzz? Hairy like who and what? Mr Loftus sir i don't think you're mean t drink hair restorer.."
Loftus spots a light in the upstairs window. There's a screech of tyres
Loftus." Get out my way cop!! I need a fucking hit...i mean i need t discuss my research with the foundation....i hope that new fundamentalist from Eichmannville Alabama's there..that dumb sucker believes anything( chuckles) yeh i bet i can get another 10 grand outa them...what wi will it be this time Loftus? You sweet talking devil you!! As handsome as i am smart! Mom was right!! Secret service agents performing improvised surgery in the hold of Airforce One? Too credible...how about LBJ and Jackie making love in the coffin? I like it Loftus!! Ok LBJ and Jackie making love on TOP of the SECOND coffin while Ladybird and Kellerman do the surgery!!! Ker fucking Ching!! Yeh i figure thats worth another 20 grand at least"
State trooper( pitying voice) Mr Loftus sir you do know you haven't started the car? And you are aware you've soiled yourself. Repeatedly by the smell.
Loftus." You're wrong sir!! A simple uneducated peasant. I'm actually driving at high speed through Monte Carlo..the sun on my handsome face..the Mediterranean breeze ruffling my luscious dark locks...yes Marina i promise you i won't answer if Ellen Burstyn or Goldie Hawn try t call...no i won't answer if Rachel or Junie call either.."
State trooper.( speaking into radio) Can i have a padded ambulance Joe? And a shovel..in fact better make it two. Yeh you got it ...Loftus again. Sleeping in his car. Thinks he's in Monte Carlo..with Marina Oswald...ok Joe. Over and out"
Looking down sadly at Loftus dribbling and twitching
" Poor bastard"
FIN
No doppelgangers, whales or incorporeal entities were harmed.
Produced Written and Directed by Judyth Vary Baker.
Loftus- Rick Moranis
Palmer McBride- Joe Pesci
State trooper Ricky Gervais
Stunts and catering by Don Jeffries in partnership with Hackenholt Stiftung


Last edited by alex wilson on Thu 14 May 2020, 12:33 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Another pesky gasmasked doppelganger)
barto
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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Wed 08 Jul 2020, 6:54 pm
Thanks to Malcolm Blunt

why palmer mcbride was wrong D8bde610

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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Wed 22 Jul 2020, 9:28 pm
why palmer mcbride was wrong 511daf10
why palmer mcbride was wrong A1089b10

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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Thu 10 Sep 2020, 8:07 am
why palmer mcbride was wrong 83cdb010

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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Thu 10 Sep 2020, 7:54 pm
James Harrison Vance  Palmer McBride.
With thans to Malcolm Blunt.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SfQmips9-ppCTFEdlV7wESlCHossHoe8/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mP7nWyqxKSrYt-ApAbmzqp9wFgGdiaYN/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XY1soygyLpC9ETlx4pqCHPrFQfy8XVfI/view?usp=sharing

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why palmer mcbride was wrong Empty Re: why palmer mcbride was wrong

on Mon 14 Sep 2020, 4:54 am
why palmer mcbride was wrong Bf437b10

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