how not to do a provocation using a doppelganger

Fri 18 Sep 2020, 12:38 am

Let's just say hypothetically, you were planning an assassination and have a patsy all lined up to take the fall.

You want to ensure that people recall this patsy doing shit before the assassination that will help make him look crazy enough to be a bona fide lone nut.

For the sake of argument, let's call our patsy FRED Barney Rubstone.

Obviously it could be a bit tricky trying to get FRED to do shit that will make him stand out in memory - but that's okay. You've spent millions on training New Zealander, Fred BARNEY Rubstone to play the role of FRED Barney Rubstone. Fred BARNEY Rubstone was accidentally left in the US as an 8 year old by his Rugby playing parents. While in New Zealand, he learned to speak both English and Tamil with a South African accent. This was exactly what the CIA would be looking for if they existed at the time.

What would make Fred BARNEY Rubstone perfect for provocations? Being 20 pounds heavier, having more hair, being less fussed about shaving - and insisting on being called Alf!

So now what do you do?

You send Fred BARNEY Rubstone to several places while the real FRED Barney Rubstone was known to to be either overseas or at work.

BARNEY should be sent to buy jeeps while FRED is living in Wales (doing underground work).

BARNEY should be sent to buy rifles and apply for various jobs at radio stations, mental hospitals and parking stations.

BARNEY should be sent to Sylvia Odio, unshaven and insisting on being called Alf

BARNEY should be sent to small shops to cash checks and buy shit, and call himself BARNEY, mess his hair up and not speak to anyone. Except to make sure that know his name is BARNEY.

In short, the best way to make sure your patsy stands out from the crowd is by sending out bad look alikes in places your patsy can't possibly be, and presenting under names not used by your patsy.

And if you don't understand how the purchase of milk and cinnamon rolls is an obvious doppelganging provocation, shame on you. Hypothetically speaking...