The Scatological Dead Cat & Natural Material Envy Blues

Written in the old days in Darwin, and based on a true story...

The Scatological Dead Cat & Natural Material Envy Blues

Well I went to a party
I was feelin' alright
but I was tired as a wheel
Until the outbreak of the fight

It was the night of the kitchen furniture revolt
when everything came to a halt
cos there ain't no cure, no therapy
for that ol' natural material envy

Well, it started with a high chair
(It had smoked a joint or two)
when it rang and ordered pizza
but could not pay it's due

Next the table, it got smashed
on one too many ryes
and threw up on the linoleum
where the dead cat on a rope did lie
and there ain't no support group, no psychosurgery
for that ol' natural material envy

Now the dead cat on a rope
is a big part of this story
or so the lady who brought it
so eloquently informed me

Said she'd found it on the street;
all it's nine lives were complete...
but it was a party sort of animal...
and it's natural fur looked really neat

And well, you get the picture...

The furniture looked jealously at the cat
but the cat just sort of lay there giving it the moon;
even the icy stare of the freezer
left it totally unmoved

Then the next thing you know
the bar was acting like a fool;
it couldn't hold it's alcohol
and kicked the legs from under the stool
cos there ain't no grants, no bureaucracy
to soothe that ol' natural material envy

Well now, let me get all Dylanesque
and ask the questions that really vex
like how many vynals gotta die
we gotta pull their sorry arse over a chair frame?
Oh, it's such a crime!

And how many lamins
we gonna laminate
just so we got somewhere
to eat from a plate?

And when we gonna learn
that linos should roam free,
not be slaughtered for their oily hides
and nailed beneath our feet?

And don't talk to me
about your polyester suit.
Lord knows those critters
in the wild are really cute!

It was the night of the kitchen furniture revolt
all started by a dead cat on a rope
and there ain't no cure, no therapy
for that ol' natural material envy