The Wit and Wisdom of Professor Sandy Larsen PhD MnOb ( Oxon) DocClit( Cantab)

The Good Professor Sandy sez:
" Duh! The CIA faked LEEs dental records"
" Duh! Just because the records of LEEs mastoidectomy are lost it doesn't mean that they didn't exist"
" Duh! You guys are such ideologues for not just blindly following the LORD Armstrongs  theory"
" Duh! You ideologues say the dumbest things"
Greg, I think we should start another petition.
To the Nobel Committee.
Professor Larsen's genius must be recognised.
Professor Larsen, Nobel laureate for outstanding contributions to genius while wearing a cowboy hat and shades

No way can that stetson contain the ego beneath it. I would suggest a ponytail.

Our eminent friend Professor Larsen's stupidity is absolutely off the scales ..
His pigheadedness too. We're   talking Sanibel levels of self delusional ignorance here.
Although I suppose he does have somewhat of an advantage.. being the cults very own Swinging Sacramental Pig....with doppelganged trotters and matching fez
Even Jimbo Baggins has politely asked him to refrain from making such a pork casserole of himself
RC-D is really getting down to the nitty gritty.... he's  way too smart to fall for Jimbos " confuse the eye, confound the mind" routine.
Bombarding everyone with fascinating but essentially meaningless esoterica.
H and L is the ultimate  nothingburger.....
The ridiculous central premise and the autopsy report render the fillings moot.
Despite all the exotic sauces Fezzos tried to ladle on them..
50 or 100 years in the future there'll be a collection of the thoughts and sayings of Professor Larsen sent with the first manned voyage to Mars.
As an example of humanitys finest mind..
Can you just imagine
" Duh, the CIA faked LEEs dental records" echoing through the icy void of space .

Dr Larsen has "bottomed out".
Well, he did say he was ill. He got that bit right.

There must be a "special procedure" at the H and L  Re-education Camp( a barbed wire FEMA compound deep in the Ozarks Armstrongs " borrowed" quid pro quo from the cackling sociopaths  at Homeland Security. When the real " Plandemic" happens in spring 2023 Armstrong has pledged his brainwashed legions, ( well all 3 of them, plus Doc Norwood and his large leather handled spatula can take care of the cooking while Donnie Jeffries , with his lacy French maid outfit and feather duster can clean up after his new overlords) to help oppress the helpless masses. By his own holy name he's had a lot of fucking practice...oppressing the helplessly minded with his bullshit for the past 20 years)
To turn all new converts and apologists into aggressively ignorant drones . Teach them how to post at Mingus's in defence of the Holy Book.
Just imagine the procedure.
Baggins comes mincing in wearing calf length red patent leather dominatrix boots , a skintight pink PVC leather corselet studded with iron rivets, frilly garter belt and fishnet stockings and Fezzos special " Saturday night special" fez( complete with breathing apparatus and pre lubricated butt plugs attached to the side , like rows of camp Nazi eagles seig heiling their way to a Kenneth Williams Convention) his goatee pleated and covered in glitter....at least I pray to Armstrong it's glitter
" Listen up bitches" he pouts, cracking his riding crop against his boot, " Auntie Jimbos gonna make you limp peckers into big throbbing internet studs... I'm gonna teach you sorry ass little tin foil hatters how to be a proper internet conspiracy hustler .how to feel the suckers in... the way Grandpa Baggins used to fish ..using methamphetamine as bait...ill I have you bitches tin foil hats glittering like microwave pulse beam resistant disco balls ..no you in the cowboy hat disco balls isn't an infectious disease spread by communists"
He looks out across the grubby barracks, his eyes pause hungrily on each one of the 3 shivering wretches he sees before him . Curled up in their hard plastic seats .
" You're a big one" Mistress Baggins coos, as his eyes fasten themselves with voluptuous predatory glee on the large cowboy hatted lump clinging to his chair .
" Yes sir .I mean yes ma'am" he snuffles, his snout glistening with sweat. 
Mistress Baggins takes a piece of paper out his corselet and begins reading..
" You must be Sandy, right? aka the Swinging Cowboy aka the Mormon Voltaire..you tried to rewrite Candide for a contemporary audience, it says here
" Yes ma'am Sandy Peregrine Fortescue Vas Deferens Larsen, the number one hog rustler in Utah State,  winner of Dancing with the Hogs, Utah's most popular interactive pig related gameshow..my dancing partner Miss Prunella was one real pretty porker ms 'am..but I'm here because of my brain power ..I began writing that there book but I figured no one will want to read about a rap singer opening a sweet shop..Candydiddy..so I started studying the Holy Book of Harvey and Lee..to be honest Mr Jimbo ma'am after fire breathing angels, invisible golden tablets and the latter day saints being fertilizer salesmen from Poughkeepsie I found all this doppelganging stuff a little tame ...you couldn't make little HARVEY a levitating prophet? Heading up to North Dakota on missionary work..I did a little missionary work up North Dakota way once...in a field in North Dakota..them Dakota magistrates are such ideologues...we always do our preaching in the nude...and pigs make great Mormons..I wrote a song called Pigs Make Great Mormons.. wanna hear it?"
Just then the sirens start wailing..a disembodied voice, cold and metallic fills the barracks.."ALERT LEVEL BOLTON FORD..I REPEAT ALERT LEVEL BOLTON FORD ALL GUARDS REPORT TO THE ALBERT BOGARD COMPOUND"
" What's happening ma'am?" Sandy whimpers....his other two inductees shift nervously in their plastic seats..
A bulky medium sized dude in a poorly fitting fez and a grey haired glassy eyed chap with a thick crust of dried drool round his thin bluish lips..
" Oh that" Mistress Baggins twirls coquettishly before running his/her riding crop across Sandys pinched porcine snout..
" That my little cowboy is just a little game we play.."
Mistress Baggins lifts a delicately painted nail to his/her lips, smudging the shocking pink lipstick..
" Listen..Observe .learn what happens to those who disobey..those who deny the righteousness of our LORD Armstrongs theory"
The three shivering wretches listen in horrified silence as hobnailed jackboots stomp by the barracks... peering through one of the tiny metal grilles they can just about make out a ragged bloodstained figure in pink PVC rags, the remains of a pink PVC fez ( with a tassle and a large glittery L ( for learner) stamped on it)..his limp body is being dragged lifelessly by the large shaven headed guards..in black tunics and tiny black eagle embossed fezzes..
" Poor old Jimbo junior, see what happens to those who deny the miracle of 2220 Thomas place... Jimbo junior was my son.my heir.. I'd planned for him to carry on the proud Baggins tradition ..he was shaping up to be a great snakeoil salesman..great great uncle Ebenezer Ponzi Scrooge Baggins would have been so proud...Ebeneezer thought up the greatest pyramid scheme of all time..he actually sold the Great Pyramid of Giza .four times!!...but when I saw young Jimbo logging on to the heretic site ROKC..lair of the Great Blasphemer himself..I turned him into LORD Armstrong myself..now he will die the most terrible agonising humiliating deaths... tickled to death by Donnie Jeffries with his feather duster while he recites Hidden History..it makes being hung drawn and quartered seem like spending a night in the back of one of Adrian Alba's vans with the tall good-looking Marguerite..
Let his fate be a warning..be ever mindful of the fake mole on the dumpy Marguerite Oswald imposter's cheek and always be sure you can tell your HARVEYs from your LEEs..
Now to lesson one... propagandising, I'm sorry I meant Spreading the truth and Enlightenment.. online"
" Please Mr Jimbo ma'am is spreading truth and Enlightenment like spreading syphillis.. only my cousin, grandma/ big brother/ fiancee aleaal said.."
" By Armstrong Sandy you ARE smart... that's it think of H and L as syphillis..or even better crabs..with little doppelganged claws ready to grab handles where ya least expect it!!"
To be continued...